be sure to add me first.
only (some) image posts are public.

And to the person who is no stranger,

No, you're not imagining it: I'm the best thing that has ever happened to you.
You're going to make yourself sick to your stomach. Regret is one bitch of an emotion.

I ordered my portfolio book (about $300) so it should be coming this month, which makes me even more excited because I can't wait to see my pictures printed again; nothing looks the same on the internet. I like my stuff so much more when in print! However, this are merely just the first steps in a loooong process of finding my style. I can't just figure out what I like yet, or what hasn't been done AS much as everything else (everything has been done, but some to death) so I'm interested to see my work four years down the line. I find that to be really exciting. Two more quarters of school left. Going to be interning, half excited. I'm just excited to be shooting more (hopefully)...

I have never been this happy.
I have never been this happy continuously!
I have never wanted to keep someone in my life forever, up until now.

I am the luckiest girl on the PLANET.


PS, our apartment is beautiful.
Its the first place that feels like home. To both of us. :)

For about six years, I've been wanting to visit Japan. I've been dreaming of it for all of those years. Even though I'm big on visual kei and j-rock I couldn't care less about going there for them, or for all the badass Sailor Moon merchandise. Haha. I just think it is so incredibly beautiful and definitely a photographer's dream. I want to go shopping for lolita dresses and see all the super cute girls already dressed in them.

When I say I dream about it, I'm not lying. I keep having these dreams where I either almost get there but end up coming back or when I get there, I'm miserable because I feel like such an idiot for not knowing the language. I feel like a tourist. Last night I had a dream where two of my friends were going and since I started bawling, they decided to pay for me to go to. Somehow, mid-flight (which was so scary and shitty, I kept thinking... I'm on this thing for like 16 hours!) I got back home because I realized I didn't want to go without Jess. Which is now very, very true. So I can't imagine how long it will take for both of us to rack up the money to go.

I've been looking at prices today. Not too bad for the ticket (around $1,000+ depending on time) but the hotels seem ridiculous. The tours are even more expensive, averaging at about $3,500 each. They include everything though.

I want to go so bad. :(

i haven't been too great at updating this thing these past few months, have i? i do check it quite often to see what you guys are up to, but i figured you'd think i'm a stranger if i just go around commenting random things out of no where haha. i've just been so busy; that always seems to be the case. i've taken thousands of pictures since i last made a real update. it would take forever and a day to think back and remember, to post all of those freaking pictures. luckily, my life is pretty simple. there are a bunch of hilarious adventures i wish i could tell all of my friends in orlando about because oh my, life in fort lauderdale is so strange. it really is one story after another. anyways...

( some pictures. not much! )

school; i never thought i'd be one of those students who has done so much work that they've forgotten which quarter they were in. i think i'm in my fifth but i can't be sure. or fourth. i dunno! it is SO much work, and i haven't even gotten into any classes with the hardest teacher on campus. i'm really excited about getting his classes, because he's so strict but god he's so knowledgeable. he substituted for a couple of my classes and i swear to god, i learned more in the four hours he taught in each of those classes than i did with any of the other teachers combined. right now i'm taking portraiture and i'd show them to you guys but they're on slide film and take forever to scan. i really like it though. i really enjoy dealing with people. i wish i had more time to shoot people on my own, and with the amazing cameras our school offer. we're getting into medium format finally. large format was fine but it was a pain in the ass. i'll stop talking about nerdy stuff now. :/

jess! gosh i wish i could have a little movie camera around me all day so i could experience my days with jess over and over again. honestly, i feel like i've met my soul mate. i've never felt comfortable with someone enough to say that; hell, i've never even ever been able to picture a romantic moment or anything of that sort with anyone else. i always had this perfect idea of what my other half would consist of. it shocks me that he fits it so well. every day we get to teach each other new things and learn more about each other. i feel like it's a freaking gift! we're puzzle pieces aha. we have routines that we look forward to every night, like watching an episode of the simpsons every night before we go to bed. and we go to the ale house, not because it's good (my god is the food horrid) but because it's where our first date was. we make sure to always be touching before we fall asleep. we're excited about christmas 'cause we want to get a tree of our own. we're meeting each other's parent's this month, i'm nervous and excited. he calls me when i'm at work and he's the first thing i call/text when i wake up. he helps me with everything and is always so proud of me. he loves my friends and they love him. i hope we always stay this way. i could live like this forever. i could stay with him even if we were bickering old coots. haha.

work; ugh. the freaking season has started. it's already killing me. but i did get a RIDICULOUS raise about a month ago to where i am basically stuck there because i'm so well off. i've got full time hours, too. add that to going to school, doing homework, cuddling with jess, and hanging out with my friends. doesn't leave much time for anything, like updating or taking pictures. :/

my car; i finally got a car! and my license! for those of you who really know me know that for 19 years i've been walking, hitching rides or taking the bus everywhere. it is such a relief to independent and be able to do what i need to. especially when i'd have to walk in the hot-ass florida weather. wow. i have pictures of it under the cut too! :3

well i guess wanted to update the people who i don't get to talk with as much. i miss and love you all. :) hopefully i'll be updating a lot more often. besides, we need to bring livejournal back from the grave, amiright guys?

( plus two )

my livejournal seems to be in a haitus lately.
you can add me on myspace if you'd like to actually talk though.

( slapstick remedy )

These are from Jesse's show on Sunday. Margs and I hated the lighting, aha. But I'm just really proud of Jess, the show was really amazing. :] I love him so much, gah

( i'm gonna give it to you! )

CURRENTLY; going to school. working. relaxing. doing more for myself. being patient, finally. shrugging off the melodrama, even though it hurts sometimes. enjoying company. waiting to go to new york in ten weeks. becoming skeptic of every moving soul. wondering. rocking the roller coaster mood swings.